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#135 | How to save money dating

by | Feb 7, 2022 | Financial Independence, Growing Wealth, Lifestyle, Saving $

Episode Summary:

In this episode, we talk about how to save money while dating.  The dating process can get really expensive, yet there are some simple and proactive steps you can take to make dating more affordable and effective.  We discuss the various factors that can influence the financial etiquette of dating.  Then we share general tips for how to deal with the financial aspects of the dating scene and end with tons of practical tips for how to save money during the various stages of the dating process.  

Episode Notes:

Let’s talk dating!  While you can use this advice in your current relationship, we’re going to focus this discussion on the early stages of dating and being in a relationship.

 

What’s the etiquette on who is even supposed to pay for things? 

  • Dating etiquette factors could include timing, gender, cultural and regional nuances, financial situations, and more.
  • We discuss some advice from different friends on same-sex couple financial dating etiquette.  
  • This is a personal decision, like all things personal finance-related.  

 

Tips for how to deal with things:

  • Remember this isn’t yet a special occasion, you’re just trying to get to know someone.  Your splurge for special occasions, you don’t need to splurge for first dates. “Don’t blow your load on the first date,” my friend Chep says. 
  • Be upfront, let the person you were starting to date know that you were on a budget. If that scares somebody off, then you likely are a good fit with that person anyways.  
  • Remember, if anyone is bothered by these things or being upfront about your budget or financial reality, then you’ve likely dodged a bullet early on and that’s a good thing to learn upfront.  
  • Consider each person‘s financial situation. If one person has a lot more money and is able to spend more, and wants to do more expensive things and it’s fine paying for it for both people, that’s probably fine. But if one person makes significantly less money, they shouldn’t be expected to do things that are out of their budget or to pay for someone else to do those things.  
  • Considering taking turns paying for things.
  • If this is a heterosexual relationship, If you are the woman, make it clear to the guy that you’re down to do some simple and less expensive hangouts and/or you want to split things.  Heck, do this in any relationship.  

 

Tips for saving money during the various stages of the dating process:

  • This is perhaps the most amazing tip of all on how to save money while dating, date someone who believes in FIRE as they are most likely pretty frugal!   There is actually a dating site called FIRE dating.  It’s the first-ever dating website for people into Financial Independence, and of course it’s free!
  • Research inspiring content like Atlanta Cheap Date, a loose guide to cheap entertainment in and around Atlanta.  Looking for something similar in your area.   
  • Consider doing a facetime virtual meeting or date first, as this could save you a lot of money and weed out a lot of people who aren’t the right fit for you.  You don’t need to spend $50, $100, or $150 to find out that there’s no vibe or connection with someone, especially if you can figure that out on a quick facetime chat.  Covid made this an acceptance first way to meet someone, so use it to your advantage! 
  • And if/when you do first meet in person, dinner and drinks are expensive, and if there’s not a connection then find it out early.  It sucks to pay $200+ for a date night out, and then realize that it’s just not a good fit.  In the first meeting you’ll likely know if it’s got potential or not, so keep the first meeting less expensive.  
  • Get creative.  You can be fancy and keep things special, while also saving money.  For example, go to a bougie grocery store or deli and pick up some really good food and drinks and make a special picnic set up in a local park.  
  • Pick a really interesting and unique place.  A quirky and unique place can take the experiential and memorable place of a super high-end or expensive place, especially for a first date.  For example, a food tour of Buford Highway in Atlanta.  
  • Look for free festivals and concerts in your area; they can be a really fun activity, a great way to get to know someone, and also not expensive. 
  • Change up the time.  Consider coffee or lunch dates initially to get to know someone.  
  • Plan an at-home date night.  If you’re feeling safe about having the person over to your home, invite them over and cook for them, or order in take-out and have a Netflix and chill night.  This is not recommended for a first date.
  • Don’t be afraid to whip out a coupon on a date!  
  • Consider skipping any flower delivery.  If you want to surprise someone, deliver them yourself and you’ll save tons of money.
  • Remember, if they are bothered by any of these approaches, then they are not the right person for you!

 

Top 3 takeaways:

 

  1.  Be true to yourself and don’t plan dates that contradict who you really are.
  2.  Get creative – you can date and “flex” without spending massive amounts of money.
  3. Remember, if they are bothered by any of these approaches, then they are not the right person for you!

 

Show References: