#064 | Adventures in Opting Out with Cait Flanders

October 5, 2020

Episode Summary:

In this week’s episode we’re joined by Cait Flanders, who just released a new book Adventures in Opting-Out: A Field Guide to Leading an Intentional Life. Cait’s first book was a big hit, titled The Year of Less: How I Stopped Shopping, Gave Away My Belongings, and Discovered Life is Worth More Than Anything You Can Buy in a Store. Mike and I both read it and loved it, so we were excited to get an advance copy of Cait’s new book and have this meaningful discussion with Cait about her life and her new book. We talk about happiness vs. contentment, shame, giving yourself permission to try new things, taking things step by step, judgement, and the importance of adventure or accountability partners. And perhaps most importantly, Cait helped us realize that Maggie doesn’t ramble, she adds context.

Episode Notes:

We start off telling Cait how excited and special we feel to have received an advance copy of her new book. Cait shares a bit about herself, and then we dive into some discussion and reflections on her new book.

Here are the main topics we dig into with Cait:

How Cait became a financial blogger
How Cait paid off $30K+ in debt
Starts, stops, and shame along the way
Happiness vs. Contentment
Rambling vs. Adding Context
Taking things step by step
Giving yourself permission to try things vs. always requiring a long-term commitment
Adventure and accountability partners
Judgement
Cait’s idea to organize the book around the hiking journey and hiking themes
Cait’s next adventure

Our favorite takeaways and nuggets from our discussion with Cait:

Cait has had a lot of starts and stops, some shame, and a lot of feelings. This is normal and OK! She used blogging as a tool, and looking back she wishes she had been kinder to herself and not deprived herself so much.
Cait says in her book that she doesn’t think happiness is a great way to measure our lives. She instead measures her life through contentment. She thinks happiness could be an unrealistic goal in life, vs. seeking to be content feels right. She wants to make sure that her needs and wants are being met, and that she’s content with her choices.
Cait 100% validates that Maggie doesn’t ramble, but she instead adds a lot of context.
Giving yourself permission to just try something. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, and just be OK experimenting and trying things. And combine that with taking things step by step. Just take one initial step, then take another.
The importance of accountability or adventure partners. And the importance of picking an accountability partner who knows what your best interests are and is going to reflect that back to you. Someone who will help you dig deeper rather than enable things that may not be the best path for you. You need the friend who’s going to tell you what you need to hear vs. what you want to hear. A friend who would say, “I am not judging you, I am reflecting back to you what you’ve told me is important to you.”
When others are judging you, it’s all about them and has nothing to do with you.

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