#053 | The Psychology of Money with Angela Buttimer

July 27, 2020

Episode Summary

We talk with Angela Buttimer on the psychology of money. Angela is a successful entrepreneur who works as a consultant, corporate trainer, executive coach, professional speaker, speaker coach, psychotherapist, and author. In all those areas, she is a leadership development, mindfulness, and emotional intelligence expert and is highly equipped to discuss the psychology of money. In our discussion with Angela we dig into the zone of the unknown, how people are apprehensive to have discussions about and face the reality of their personal finances, how your childhood and parental relationship with money impacts you now, how different relationship dynamic can influence finances, lifestyle consequences of financial decisions, and the importance of practicing self-care.

Episode Notes

We start off with sharing a few voicemails and comments from our #52 Episode – Maggie wants a new car and Mike stages an intervention. We had no idea this would be one of our most popular episodes so far. It’s very interesting to hear everyone’s different perspectives on cars, but more importantly how they rationalize and consider different purchases.

Then we dive into an enlightening discussion with Angela Buttimer, and cover many topics:

The Zone of the unknown that we are all in right now. We don’t know how long this is going to go on, how it’s going to play out. Even if people have done well financially so far, we don’t know what the future holds. The reality is there are high levels of stress and anxiety around finances for many people.
Most people come to talk to her initially apprehensive and don’t want to have these discussions on money. This is often because their relationship or finances are in trouble. Most people aren’t happily coming in to talk about money and their relationship with money.
She suggests people go back to their very first memories about money. Search your memory banks. Can often go back that far to how you’re reacting about money in the present. Think about the highs and lows you’ve had around money. Many thoughts are subconscious and can really impact how you feel about money now.
People will talk about sex, politics, and religion way before they want to talk about money.
Research points to the majority of people (over 70%) have negative emotional states around money. A lot of anxiety, fear,confusion, stress, and depression over money.
There can be a sense of defeat and helplessness around money for many. This can manifest itself into behaviors like putting your head in the sand and avoiding dealing with your money issues. People often don’t know their financial numbers as they don’t want to face it and deal with it. This is why we often talk about the importance of tracking your expenses and net worth.
People should know their numbers so they know what they need and what they desire.
People have to make their own shifts, and she just presents the information to them.
She often helps people connect the dots to their psychology history and how they grew up with money.
Angela weighs in on Maggie’s desire to buy a new car and a specific type of car. Angela describes herself as a “car gal” and agrees that she wants what she wants in a car, and is supportive of Maggie’s desire to own a specific type of car. As human beings, we’re not just brains, we have our heart too and that plays into our decisions.
We are connected to the brands that we buy from a brain, gut, and heart perspective. The question is often, can you afford the indulgence that your heart wants to make?
Angela discusses how different relationship dynamics can impact financial decisions. She shares how so much goes back to our relationship with our parents, how they modeled their own relationship with money, and how our parents engaged us with money.
One of the factors we know from research is that people who are influenceable tend to stay in a relationship, and that goes for money and anything else. Can I be influenced by my partners needs, wants, desires?
Some people are super rigid with money, and some super indulgent. Sometimes people make a commitment to partnership with no discussions around money.
Lifestyle consequences of financial decisions – Having to go back to work, having to reduce care for their elderly parents or not send their kids to the college they want to go to, etc.
Angela shares her own personal beliefs about money. She sees money as her connection to freedom and choices, and thriving and dignity. She is very money positive. She grew up in a family of entrepreneurs where they had very lean times and very fat times, and she learned to surf those waves with a lot of ease and grace. She looks at money as a tool, and as an energy exchange. When she spends money she says arigato, as a way of blessing what’s coming in and what’s coming out.
Angela’s top advice for people is that she encourages people to not put their self-care on the back burner right now. It’s more important now than ever to invest in your own well-being. Make yourself a priority.
Angela shared her feelings on social media. She sees the beauty in connecting with fabulous people all over the globe. She also limits it. Research shows if you spend more than 20 minutes on social media the depression starts to kick in. Take breaks with it. She often does not access social media on the weekends.