Episode Summary:
In this week’s episode, we delve into a discussion on friends, family, and money. We started this podcast because we both learned first-hand that talking to your friends about money can improve everyone’s finances. Yet, for some reason, most people do not talk to their friends or family about money? It’s a taboo topic. But it shouldn’t be. We discuss why friends don’t talk about money, the benefits of talking to your friends or family about money, and some ideas for opening up the conversation.
Episode Notes:
We are willing to “show off” the front-end of things that cost money, through the cars we’re driving, the house we live in, and the clothing we wear, but we’re not willing to talk about what funds all of that. We dig into why that is, the benefits of talking to our friends about money, and ideas to get you started.
Why is talking to your friends and family about money so taboo?
- It’s how many of us were raised. It’s rude to talk about money.
- It makes people feel self-conscious, judged, or shameful. And it could range from because someone has credit-card debt, all the way to shame for having more money than others around you do.
- They don’t know where to begin. We’ll help you here!
- It’s not a fun topic for everyone. It’s stressful to many, as many feel they are behind on what they should be doing financially.
- Financial views can differ by culture, political affiliation, or religion. But that’s no reason to avoid talking about it. We’ll talk about politics and religion, so why not money?
The benefits of talking to your friends about money?
- It will improve your finances! When you learn what other people are doing, you have a benchmark, and you all get better as a result.
- It will improve your friendship! You get into more meaningful conversations about what matters in life. You get to know each other on a deeper level. Being vulnerable with your friends strengthens your friendships.
- *Parents and children should be considered “friends” here too.
Ideas for opening up the conversation:
- Start small! Share a recent challenge you had understanding something complex. Your friend probably has had the same experience. You might even get a helpful response from their experience.
- Compare what you’re spending on everyday expenses like groceries, homeowners insurance, car insurance, and utilities.
- Remember, you don’t have to share everything. You’re not turning over a P+L to your friends. You don’t have to share your salary. You can share as little or as much as you want. You can talk very hypothetically about things or just dive into some aspects.
- Host a fun personal finance-themed dinner party. The people who don’t want to talk about money won’t come. Lay out some ground rules and best practices, like this is a safe and confidential space. We don’t judge. We treat this like vegas.
- Start a budget-tracking exercise with your friends where you all track your living expenses for 3-6 months, and meet once a month to check in.
- Be disarming and humble when you bring things up. This isn’t a competition. Avoid shaming people or coming across as judgemental.
- Once you break the seal, it opens things up!
- Suggest a podcast or two to friends to get others to open up the conversation with them. The reality is sometimes it’s just easier to talk to strangers about things versus your good friends.
- If you can’t get your real-life in-person friends to talk about money, just keep listening to podcasts, engage on social media, and make new online friends that will speak to you about money.
Top 3 takeaways:
- Many benefits come from talking to your friends about money.
- Start with yourself, and be willing to be open and vulnerable with your friends. This will motivate others to open up then.
- Start small, and don’t overshare until your friends are also ready.