#099 | Summer purging and the psychology of letting go

May 31, 2021

Episode Summary:

In this episode, we talk about a summer purge to rid your house of all the worthless or unnecessary stuff you’ve accumulated over the years. We all have those items that we’ve moved from house to house and just won’t let go; but have you stopped and asked yourself why it’s so unthinkable to get rid of those things? We discuss the psychology behind attachment and provide some tips for decluttering your possessions once and for all.

Episode Notes:

Mike opens the episode sharing stories about his collections growing up and how enjoyable they were for him. Baseball cards, comic books, PC Gamer magazines, rocks, coins, Star Wars toys. Yes, Mike was a nerd. Mike also accumulated a lot of stuff from his grandparents and parents, whom he admired deeply.  Maggie also liked collecting rocks; what a coincidence! 

 

Over time, we all accumulate stuff. It can be collectibles, or family heirlooms, or stuff that has some sort of practical value. But at some point, and we’d argue at frequent points in your life, you need to step back and think about if you need this stuff.

 

Collectibles usually are worthless:

  • Mike shares his baseball card realization
  • When something is sold “as a collectible,” it’s not. The Mickey Mantle rookie card is a collectible because it was a cheap toy for kids when it was made. Decades later, people developed a desire for it because of its scarcity. Baseball cards sold even in the 60’s and 70’s were already being produced because people found value for the scarce items.  When Mike was collecting in the 80’s, it was a gimmick.
  • To tell if your collection has value, pull out what you consider the most valuable items and check eBay. Check what they’re selling for, not asking. We bet you’ll find they aren’t selling for much.
  • So what do you do? Find someone who will appreciate them for what they are.

 

Just because it cost you money doesn’t make it valuable

  • We’re all guilty of this: we spend $50 on a commemorative item from some event and then hold it for 20 years. But just because the supply/demand curve at the time put that price at $50, that doesn’t mean it’s worth that much or anything now.
  • Check eBay to see if it has value. If it does, sell it! If it doesn’t, give or throw it away.

 

You don’t want to accept that something was a bad purchase

  • It’s ok to make purchase mistakes or to change your mind. If you bought a new jacket and then realize you hate it, don’t hold onto it for ten years, making yourself feel guilty. Give it away, and you’ll feel better.
  • An excellent rule for deciding whether to get rid of something now is to ask yourself, “Would I buy this again today if I didn’t already own it?”  If the answer is no, then let it go!

 

You MAY use this in the future (aka just in case items)

  • Our homes are filled with practical stuff. Let’s look at paper clips: you have them, and they serve a purpose. But you’ve had 200 for years and use maybe two a year. You can get rid of almost all of them. Or all of them! Even if you do end up needing it in the future, you can always just grab one from your office or your kid’s school, right?
  • Also, think about the cost to replace an item IF you need it later. You may give away 20 things and then find out you need 1 of them later; if it’s cheap, then you’re still better off overall by decluttering the 20 items.

 

Ask your parents about family heirlooms

  • Mike is guilty of this: he had some items from his grandfather, and even though he no longer used them or displayed them, he held onto them.
  • Get “permission” to let it go. Mike asked his dad what he thought about giving some of these items away, and the response was an emphatic “don’t worry about it!”
  • It can be good to hear from someone closer to the item that it’s ok to let it go.

 

Think about the next generation

  • What is really important that your family keeps for you after you die. 
  • Let those be known and tell them to forget the rest.
  • Don’t burden your family with a bunch of stuff they’ll hold onto and feel guilty about for decades. Leave them with the important things and the stories about them.
  • Imagine if you died tomorrow.  Sorry, it’s a terrible and sad thought, but just imagine it for a moment.  Imagine your partner, your parents, your kids, or a good friend coming into your home and going through all of your items to decide what to do with them.  

 

Top 3 takeaways:

  1. There’s value in letting go of things in your life and having less stuff.  Stuff isn’t what creates happiness. 
  2. Most things don’t have material value, so don’t worry about the dollars.
  3. Going through the process of letting go helps you identify the essential things in your life that bring back memories and give you joy.

 

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