#095 | How to stop caring what people think and start living

May 3, 2021

Episode Summary:

 

In this week’s episode, we discuss how nobody cares and how realizing and accepting that can save you a lot of money!  You’ll be truly happy when you’re spending money on what makes you happy, not what you think other people will admire or respect.  People are not thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are; they are busy thinking about themselves.  Yes, they might notice when something is particularly fancy or new, but they quickly forget and then definitely don’t care about it.

 

Episode Notes:

 

What we mean when we say “care” is not noticing, or observing, or making a reactive judgment; it means genuinely caring, for better or worse, about that person. Let’s play a little experiment: how many people did you see exiting or entering their cars the last time you were out? You maybe noticed one nice car or a terrible car, but do you remember any of the people? Now, if your best friend pulled up in a 2003 Ford Explorer or a 2021 Maserati, would you CARE about them more or less?

 

We’re not saying people don’t care about you as a person or aren’t kind; we’re saying they don’t care about so many things that you might think they do.  And the faster you realize this, the quicker you can prioritize your money on the things that really matter in life.  

 

A conversation Mike has a lot has to do with LinkedIn and updating a profile. People are worried that when they update it, people will know they’re looking. Mike’s response is always: no one will notice because they aren’t actively looking at your profile. And they wouldn’t care anyway because every single person is looking out for their own career.

 

People are too busy thinking about themselves to think about you. And your purchases are wasted on them. When you realize this, you’ll have much more substantive conversations and relationships with people.  You’ll talk about what really matters.

 

And if someone does like you more or less because of something you bought, that’s not real friendship or real love.

 

Be honest.  Ask yourself if you’re doing something because it matters to you, or because you’re trying to impress someone else.  If it matters to you, then go for it.  But make sure you’re skilled at realizing what really matters to you. You’d be shocked to realize that many people don’t actually know what matters to them.

 

Some beautiful quotes from the internet:

 

  • “The eyes of others are our prisons; their thoughts our cages.” ― Virginia Woolf
  • “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”—Steve Jobs
  • “I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.”— Coco Chanel
  • “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

 

It’s not about the stuff; it’s about how you make people feel.  And what’s interesting is that having super fancy stuff can often make someone feel bad. So remember that by having just what you need, you’ll actually make your friends and those around you feel better enough with what they already have. 

 

Top 3 takeaways:

  1. Nobody cares about the stuff you buy. They’re too busy hoping you care about their stuff. 
  2. Figure out what truly matters to you and not trying to keep up appearances for other people.  This is the key to unlocking more happiness and better finances in life.  
  3. People do care about how you treat them and how you make them feel. Be a good husband, wife, partner, father, mother, son, daughter, friend. People care about that.

 

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